French by Nature, Gay Since Birth

"You’re not nelly, you’re just dramatic. If you were straight, you’d have been Tony Randall."

-One of Hal’s ex-boyfriends.

Hal Bodner has been writing books since the only way to read them was on paper. His work spans several genres, from horror to romance to mystery, but almost always contains at least a touch of humor. He lives in sunny Los Angeles with his husband and their fearsome attack poodle, Toby, who is featured above.

Hal is probably best known for Bite Club, a vampire comedy set in West Hollywood, which became one of the top-selling gay novels in the country. The sequel, The Trouble With Hairy, is also set in West Hollywood and adds werewolves into the mix. Shortly thereafter, he wrote several paranormal erotic romances which he tended to refer to as "supernatural smut" – until his agent yelled at him to stop.

Hal usually tells people he was born in East Philadelphia because practically no one who isn’t from Cherry Hill, New Jersey has ever heard of it. The obstetrician who delivered him, C. Everett Koop, who became the Surgeon General of the United States a few decades later, and put warnings on cigarette packs. Probably just for spite, Hal became a heavy smoker for many years, a habit he greatly misses.

He moved to West Hollywood in the 1980s and, for almost 30 years, he rarely left the city limits. Hal was so WeHo-centric that he never learned his way around Beverly Hills, which is the next town over. Eventually, in a burst of over-optimism, he bought a six bedroom mansion in Highland Park, a supposedly up-and-coming area of East Los Angeles. After three years of watching the street gangs doing drug deals in his back yard, he fled back to WeHo. He recently moved to the Valley, and was very surprised that he was not struck down by a burning bush the moment he set foot north of Mulholland Drive.

(It should be noted that, during his sojourn in East LA, he was protected from harm because of his habit of chasing his escaped pet peacock down Figueroa Boulevard at night, dressed in his fluffy bathrobe and Cruella de Vil bedroom slippers while yelling "Apollo! Apollo! Come back!" None of the gang members would shoot him; they were laughing too hard.)

His various professions have included stints as an entertainment lawyer, a scheduler for a 976 sex telephone line, a theater reviewer and the personal assistant to the First Lady of Star Trek, the late Majel Barrett Roddenberry. For several years, he owned Heavy Petting, a pet boutique where movie stars bought gold-plated water dishes and designer wardrobes for their Chihuahuas and Pomeranians. With his first husband, he owned an exotic bird store. At one time the couple were slaves to eight full-sized macaws, a mini-macaw, far too many cockatiels and parakeets to count, four dogs of various sizes, a flying squirrel, a tame crow, a handicapped rooster, and five humongous koi fish named Barbra, Jason, Jim, Josh, and Elliot, after the Streisand/Gould/Brolin clan.

After almost a decade writing predominantly horror fiction, and receiving a couple of Bram Stoker Award nomination in the bargain, Hal returned to his comedic roots with Fabulous in Tights and A Study in Spandex, the trials and tribulations of the reluctant superhero known as the Whirlwind. He is eagerly looking forward to the release of his Browne & Brownie series of comic capers, starting with Into Thin Heir. With this new series, Hal hopes to turn classic Noir fiction upside down, and tint it with a healthy splash of lavender.

After the death of his first husband, Hal married again. His second husband is a wonderful man, roughly half Hal’s age, who had no idea that Liza Minnelli was Judy Garland’s daughter. He is also responsible for this website!